Kody’s story “Over the Counter” is about a man in desperate need to provide for his family monetarily. The protagonist is a pharmacist but the money he is making to provide for his family is not sufficient so after an encounter at the bar with a sketchy friend who advises him to start selling drugs because he is, “gettin paid a peasant's wage to guard the king's gold.” (One of my favorite lines by the way, I can just hear a drunken kinda sleazy drug dealer like guy believing this to be the best way to convince someone). The story ends with the Protagonist (who I don’t believe has a name? Why doesn’t he?) caving into sleazy Tim’s advice and stealing from the pharmacy to sell the drugs on the street. The character changes because he gives into what he knows to be wrong. It is always disappointing when we see a character defiled and this way, but it definitely proves a strong point about the harsh reality of the world.
One way I would like to see the story strengthened is elaboration on what happens because the protagonist makes this choice. I don’t know if I necessarily want him to get caught and get in trouble, but I do want to see what happens to him because he made the decision to steal and sell drugs to make a living instead of selling. I also think the interaction with the pastor could be elaborated on. Their conversation was good but if he has been a member of that church for a while then why the pastor should be able to see that he is struggling and should definitely offer his advice. It would be an interesting idea to see the pastor catch him in the act or maybe get caught buying drugs?
I really enjoyed readying your story. The imagery and descriptions (especially of the church) were concrete and real, you did a great job there. I would like more description of the pharmacy beside the rows of bottles. The detail about the women with the stained shirts was wonderful. I love your mastery of image would love to see it throughout the entire story. Thanks for an enjoyable read.
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