"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Response to "For the Love of the Game" by Jessica Mullino

Jessica Mullino’s story For the Love of the Game is about a girl who finds out her Dad is a famous baseball player. As the story progresses Linds decides to go watch her father play baseball, instead of asking her mom she tells her mom that she is going to the lake with a friend and ends up sneaking to the game. She sees her Dad and almost gets to meet him but he leaves her a note saying he knew she was coming because her mom knew and he wants to meet her one day with her mom and wants her to back and watch him play when his back is healed.

What I enjoyed most was how the story started off and you didn’t know exactly who the narrator was, where they were, or what exactly was going on. I loved that. It was so powerful and exciting when you realized it was a movie being watched. IT also came as a pleasant surprise to me when I found out the narrator and protagonist was a girl. When the story began and it was all about baseball I was expecting a guy. I had no idea what to expect and I love that!

I would have liked to have more interaction between the mom and the daughter and more dialogue. Maybe a conversation with the mom and daughter after she gets home from the game where the mom explains why she let her go? I don’t fully understand how the character changed as the story grew on. I know she finally got the nerve to sneak out and lie to her mother and finally had the opportunity to see her father play baseball. But after she does this, all that happens is she gets a note fro her father which does little to assuage her because she ends up with nothing more than, “a flutter in her stomach as she drives home.” I want her stomach wrenched because her father is not the man she hoped for, or maybe her stomach feels warm and full because she is full of new love for her father because he turns out to be a swell guy.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story! However I would like to see more power in the way your protagonist changes.

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