"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

An elf (short) update


Thank God for Christmas break. This break has been the best vacation since I have left for college. Last year I was ready to be back in Auburn after two weeks but this year the break has turned out to be the perfect amount of time. Having a bunch of friends from Auburn visit in the beginning was great!
Good community and a house full of friends is exactly what this season is about. I am absolutely thrilled about Peru, I got my information about raising money and the support raising has officially began! I am really excited about this challenge and am glad I can finally get started.
As soon as my wisdom teeth stop hurting and I can get off the pain-meds I am going to draft my support letter and get this train rolling. New Years Eve Celebrations begin in Birmingham with Taylor, Ruthie, Landrum, and our guitars tomorrow!
Hopefully Landrum won't read this before then because it is going to be a surprise for her birthday! A more detailed post will up as soon as I can think clearly but until then, this will do.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Remembered Trails

My head hits the pillow in my old bed. It's strange, the smells of the thanksgiving turkey fresh off the grill is the same as I remember, the Abby Road and Auburn poster still are hanging proudly on my wall, and I can hear my dog snoring the same snore at the foot of my bed. This is my home, this is my room, but this isn't my life anymore.
I love coming home to Huntsville. Being able to instantly immerse myself into the familiar trails and mountain paths and lose track of time again while stepping on crunching leaves and the joy when I rediscover the same spiderwebs painted with new patterns of dew on the same rocky cliff faces. The comfort of the safety the familiarity of my mountains, my house, my room bring is intoxicating. It would be so easy to slip back into this old town living again. But, at the same time nothing about any of this seems real anymore. The familiar rock faces and whispers of the leaves seem to still, to much unchanged by time. I am not the same person I was when I left two summers ago, or even last summer, but this town is the same. For this I find reason to give thanks, for this I am also cursed. I love Huntsville, Alabama with all my soul. The memories I cherish of growing up come from here. Every street holds a different story, every mountain trail or lake a different memory. But, as I walk through the same trails and streets I find myself unable to re-enter my tales of a short two years ago, the ghosts of memories haunt and tease me as I try to run along side them again. But they are not real. This strikes a fire in my soul, an unquenchable thirst I know I must fulfill. New mountains, new trails, new mist, new spiderwebs, new oaks to hang my hammock from, new ponds to tame and claim as my own. I thirst for adventure, my throat is itching to be wet. I am ready to go! Peru is calling to me, yet I can't help but feel it is but a threshold, a door to the rest of the world if you will. "Change the world for me, make my name known among the nations, reach the unreached peoples of this Earth I have given to you, do this all for me and my glory. Prepare, and go." Not for my sake do I thirst to go, there is absolutely no plausible way to justify saying a soul as broken and decrepit as mine could ever concoct such an all encompassing desire for such a journey. I believe this thirst that is groaning and growing within daily is from the Lord. I believe he is preparing me to go forth and out for His sake. Terrifying? To say no would be either denial or a lie. This post is a reminder to me the reason I am in school, the reason I am stuck in the mundane for now. It's part of the preparation, the training I need to successfully accomplish the task ahead. To remind myself nothing I do should be for me, it all should be for God, his glory.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Benjamin's Blue Jazz

It was around 11 o'clock last night and me and some buddies decided to hit up the hookah bar for some gyro and celebratory caramel-apple hookah.
None of us were planning on anything more than good food, good hookah, and good catching up but God had other plans. We sit down outside and had been chatting and smoking when out of the blue we hear a harmonica. We turn around and see an elderly african-american man standing behind a table of high-schoolers a few tables down. The whole place gets quiet and this man sings and blows his harmonica. The music was almost eerie, it seemed to just put a spell of captivation and sorrow in the air, the sensation was almost tangible.
He finishes playing and everyone awkwardly claps and then continues on their conversations, he comes over to our table and stands behind us so we ask him to play another song, "this is a song about the Lord coming," he said then he blew a few notes and sang, "he's a-coming and no one can hide, the trumps will sound and he'll be back riding the cloud with the silver lining, ain't no one can hide, ain't no one can hide." He continued for a few more verses and then smiled and stood there as we clapped. "Y'all fellows can help me with my funds? Can you help with my funds?" he asked us. Instantly I was thrown back to this summer to when I was standing in the parking lot with two other of God's image-bearers who, like this man, had for various reasons been living a very long hard life on the street. I couldn't help but wonder how many others living on the streets of America there are like these three people who have come into my life.
We invited him to sit down and ordered him a burger and coke and stated talking. He told us his life story; mother, father, and brother all dead, he lives with his sister who just had a child named after him, Benjamin. He said he works at the Goalpost gas station mopping and cleaning some but hadn't slept in two days and only ate when, "God told someone to give him some food." I hated myself because they whole time he was talking I was sitting in my chair, in my comfort, looking at him and doubting his words. His fingernails were long, caked in grime and dirt, his jeans filthy and to short to keep the cold out, his shirt as a fleece jacket that was semi-clean in comparison.
I found myself questioning the validity of his seemingly crazy stories. "God told yall to buy me this food," Benjamin said, snapping me back to reality. We continued to talk and he told us he was manic-depressive and no doctor would give him medicine anymore. By now it was after midnight and time was stretching thin. A few of us had to leave and by the end of it only two of us were left sitting with this man at the hookah bar on this pre-ordained chilly October night in Auburn. "God is good, he blesses and he does, yes sir, don't you forget that he does." Benjamin said with a goofy grin on his face as he finished off the rest of his burger. When we left, we agreed to meet again same place next thursday night at nine to talk more and get in the scripture together. On my way home last night all I could think of was Benjamin's Jazz and Gospel. Did he really understand what wisdom was coming from his lips when he spoke of promises and blessings and the return of our King? Did he understand how loved he really is? Can he ever? These questions are still swirling around in my head and until we meet again next thursday I'll just have to wait and see. The definition of real blue jazz, true sorrow, and brokenness was shown not half a continent away in Peru but in Auburn, my everyday home. The need of spreading God's love is overwhelming and we must seek it out, God will put opportunities in our lives all we have to do is respond. It's not our job to convert, its sure as hell not our job to judge, all we are called to do is share the love we have found with beggars like ourselves.

War Damn Life

I have about a thirty minute break before reality sits back in so it's time to catch up the blog postings. Auburn is absolutely in it's prime season. Midterms are finally done, praise the Lord!! These past few weeks have been wonderfully jam packed with so much fun!
We had our first Gospel Choir Performance a few weeks ago and it was so much fun! We sang my favorite song that we have been practicing, "Souled Out" by Hezekiah Walker, check it out. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l937QuCzD38) Also in recent news, God has answered my prayers and searchings for a job! In two weeks or so I'll be working at Taylor's Coffee Shoppe downtown off of college street.
This is such a relief because it is just setting me one step closer to Peru! Not only will I be in Peru for the summer but now I am leading a group of Auburn students to Peru for this spring break! We will be going with Frontline Peru into the jungle to a small and VERY rural town called Pulcallpa. This upcoming thursday is the day we have set for the deadline for commitment for the trip, I can't wait to see who all the Lord calls to join us on this trip!


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Acts 20:24

Time for another update. Biggest changes since my last post are as follows: I'm now a proud member of the Auburn University Gospel Choir, School has picked up A LOT, and other than that life is truckin along the same path.
Two weekends ago I got to venture back to South Carolina to spend the weekend (on a spur-of-the-moment surprise journey) with all my Project amigos at Furman and Wofford. Reconnecting was absolutely wonderful and what I had been thirsting for since being back at Auburn. My boys from Project this past summer have become some of my absolute best friends. Being able to randomly appear on these campuses and instantly be immersed in conversations about God's love, entering new levels of accountability, and experiencing true brotherhood through our inheritance in Christ's blood was exactly what I had been craving from the second I left project.
I have wonderful friends here at Auburn too, but whenever I am around my friends from this summer literally in everything we talk about, we can't keep the good news of God far from our lips. This is something I've tried to apply to my daily life here at Auburn, experiencing it over the summer (and now daily through skype and phone time with my South Carolina brethren) makes me thirst for the same community here on The Plains so, so much. Intentionally trying to make every conversation I have for God's glory is hard, but unbelievably rewarding. It takes effort, it is a tangible challenge but one that if we put the effort in, God will meet us in there and carry us the rest of the way up.
Recently I've been wondering why I am so accepting of my sin, and of my salvation. In the Psalms, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Proverbs, all throughout the entire Bible the different authors and people groups are brought to their knees, faces to the floor because despair and hatred of their sin, and at the same time they dance, sing, praise, are brought to tears in reverence of their salvation and the grace we are given, DAILY. We need to be leading each other, spurring each other on in encouragement and motivation in these areas. We have to seek out our Christian Brothers and Sisters and help pull each other through the filth surrounding us and push each other towards the Lord.
So why is the same not true for modern day Christians? Why do I not CONSTANTLY rejoice and sing at the mercy I've found and how am I not CONSTANTLY disgusted by the poison of sin has in my life? The simple poise sin strikes to engulf us here at Auburn albeit anything from laziness to apathy. Becoming more appreciative and identifying the filth in my life, in all of our lives is necessary.To wrap things up I just want to write out how excited I am for the fall, for hunting season, for the prime outdoors time. Being in nature is one of my favorite ways to enjoy God's power, genius, and my favorite place to just, be still as He commands us to. The feeling of solitude surrounded by absolute majesty and silence in stillness is, God.
I am so thankful to see the leaves start falling and fell the chill at night that makes the stars seem so much sharper and brighter. Only a King infinitely wise and powerful could create such things that speak so sharply and directly to my very soul, and that is why I praise him.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Auburn Tiger bearing God's Image

Its been another week or two here on the plains and its been a great few weeks. Project Uplift has been wonderful these past few weeks, Bug and Peanut who now goes by Damieon are doing great! It has been awesome reconnecting with them and watching them grow up.
Every time we are with them I think of Gideon and Aldo and all of my other brothers in Peru. I wonder how they are, if they are still all living together, if they are still under the care of Casa Grisoles or if they have gone back to live on the streets.
It has been haunting my dreams lately that I will go back to casa grisoles this summer with my MTW internship and Gideon and Aldo will be gone. They could be back on the streets caught up in the addictions of drugs and prostitution and daily avoiding death around every corner. But, this can't be the case. Hector loves the boys at casa grisoles and I know he would stop at nothing to make sure they are not back on the streets. I think about them every day.
It makes life as a college student seem so menial, we are blessed beyond most of our knowledge. I wish I could reveal to every student at Auburn the pain the world outside our doors is in, the groans of people groups both known and unknown across the world are shut out by so so many here. Not always because of selfishness, but because of unbeknownst arrogance of the situation we are in and the state the rest of the world is in. I want to inspire others to help. It is so great to meet others who understand this passion I have, definitely a blessing from the Lord! The first football game was absolutely incredible! We smeared Arkansas State and the Auburn moral is soaring high! The game was a night game and the skies were painted so beautifully, there was no way anyone in that stadium could deny the power of God.
Looking around the stadium as it was completely full, I found myself mesmerized by a simple question, how many of these people, my "Auburn family" truly knew their utter dependence and need for Christ's redeeming blood? How many of them thought they were Christians because they went to church, campus ministries, were thought to be 'good, moral people' by their family and peers. How many were just 'bible-belt cultural christians' and how many people were actually striving to be nothing more than deeper emerged in Christ's blood in hopes of losing themselves and gaining more of our Lord. I couldn't help but want to know who would be in heaven with my and could talk about the beautiful skies the Lord painted for us that day. I know it couldn't be everyone there. Could it have been even half? I couldn't help it, my thoughts took me there, I could not help myself from wondering. Because of that wonder I want to do something, I want to succeed, to do BIG things, to reach the 87,451 people who were at the game. How though. Starting small, intentionally pursuing peers, being involved and hell being over-involved because I want to reach more people than I should be able to! That is what being an Auburn Tiger bearing God's image and in light of that acting on it is to me.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Return to the glory land


“All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible." T.E. Lawrence
Sophomore year of college. The second year at my four year home. The last half of the first half of my career as a "college student" and I still have so much I want to do. This year has been wonderful so far; classes are great, my last math class, philosophy, spanish three, english comp 2, and world history. As far as involvement this year, I am finding myself with time to breathe during the day and some nights and that is so strange to me. I always over commit myself but always find a way to give 100% to the things I do commit to, and this semester so far I am only involved in a few things: R.U.F. monday nights, ONE wednesday nights, First Presbyterian Opelika sundays, Project Uplift 5 hours a week, and my SGA involvement hasn't started yet. In light of this "light load" this semester I am finding myself with an excess of free time.
I don't know what to do with myself! It has been great for getting in the Word, doing homework, and the likes but I can't help but feel I need to be doing more. The quote I started this entry off with is what I am living by this semester. Because I do have this free time, I am going to do things. Big things. Today I had a free hour before classes so Natalie Burns and I set up a table on O-Days on the concourse and started a new club, Dumbledore's Army. Fun stuff like that is going to be a part of this free time I have but I also want to use it to plan for the bible study I'm leading of Isaiah with the roommates called "Stogie and a Study" tuesday nights.
The Lord is so powerful with his movements through this study already after only one week! One conviction I am trying to live is surrounding myself with scripture. I made this auburn sign out of pain chips and on each sign is a different Bible verse that encourages me and hopefully all who come in my room!
Everything we do is to be for his glory, our free time, our commitments, our conversations, our life. Sophomore year I am going to try to live this out.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Updates from L.P. 4


Today is my last day off. This time next week I will no longer be a McDonald's employee. Then in just one more short week I will be back home in Alabama. Living at the beach was wonderful, but reassured me even deeper that I will be living in the mountains somewhere. I need their strength and power around me, the pockets of escape their trails provide, the connecting path they let me find to our Lord and Creator. But, back to the beach. L.P. has been a wonderful experience. When I return home and will be posed with the question, "So, tell me about it!" I can honestly say I could begin 100 different ways. All the things we did from living together to group dates to skits to lessons to visiting three different churches to McDonalds to beach walks and the cigar shop, the list is endless. But, the unifying factor in all of the above is the presence of the Lord. God marched the whole time we were here, in the midst of annoyances and frustrations he continually reminded us of our dependence upon so much besides him. L.P. has been an experience I believe everyone should have. Having to thrust yourself in a community that is completely foreign to you, yet not foreign because you are still in America was so strange, and good. Needed. Because you are out of your comfort zone still in a comfort zone it was even harder than foreign missions. More updates to come!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

God Marched, Today.

Today was a day that most people never experience. You know the stories in the Bible where the Lord throws his people into confrontations and how if only one minute detail had shifted the whole story would have never happened? That happened to me today. At work I got to thinking how I needed to go ahead and invest in a Spanish to English Bible and begin memorizing scripture in spanish to share with my spanish employees as well as the fact I will need it for my calling. Luckily, my good friend Phillip's dad is a pastor, he gets a discount at Lifeway Christian Bookstore and Phillip offered to let me use the discount. We decided to go to Lifeway once we got to leave to leave the golden grease and heat of McDonalds. We got off work, changed clothes, lingered around Project for a while then hit the road. We thought we knew where we were going, "it's not hard to find man" Phillip confidently said seeing as he had been before. After an hour had passed we admitted we may not know exactly where we were going, we call them up and get directions, we were a ways away from Lifeway but at this point it was almost a matter of pride that we absolutely had to get there. We refused to be defeated by all the confusing overpasses as streets. As we pulled into a sonic to turn around Phillip's supped-up, white with left over brown spots from past fun, 78 Ford just died. It rolled forward then stopped. We looked at each other and he tried to start her back up, nothing. Thankfully across the street was a gas station. We dig through the tool bed, find some gas tanks and head over to fill it up. As we walk back sloshing the premium gasoline on our fingers we see a man admiring Pip's redneck beauty of a truck. We start talking and tell him about why we are here and he continues on his way. We start the truck back up and gently glide across the road to the gas station to really quench the truck's thirst. As we're filling her up a man approaches us and you could see the desperation on his face, he fearfully and almost painfully asked us for a ride just up the road to the wal-mart. He said, "Please sirs, my wife and I just need to get to wal-mart so many people turn up down. We'll give you beer or money, just please I was in a motorcycle wreck and can't walk that far." Pip and I exchanged a look that showed that both of our parents ingrained into our brains the old saying, "never give a ride to strangers." But, somehow we knew we had to let them get in. They hop in the truck bed and Phillip starts driving, I stick my hands and head out the back window and start talking with them; they had lost their car, wrecked their motorcycle, and just got out of the hospital, and had been ignored by people all day and were so thankful for "the Lord's grace." When we pulled up to wal-mart I ask them if I can pray for them. They grabbed my hands and grasped tightly as I went to the Lord, I just asked the Lord to engulf them and protect and bless them. After we prayed they told us they had no money but would pay in pills. We declined and left feeling a little defeated and used. But still excited that we got to plant a seed for the Lord in their lives. As we pull out of the parking lot we see two homeless people a man and woman with a sign that read, "Please Lord just bring us food." We looked at each other and decided after Lifeway we would come back and talk with them and bring them food. Back on the road again to Lifeway and this time we find it. Ironically enough it was not a 10 minute drive from our hotel. We'll remember that next time. We walk inside and Phillip just crashes on the floor. We laughed about how the Lord is good and I walk around to find my Spanish-English Bible. I search and unfortunately discover my hunt was to no Avail. I walk back over to Pip and he excited stands up with a huge smile on his face grabs my head and points it towards the cards in the aisle across from where he was sitting, "It says Doing good to others means doing good to God," he said excitedly, "God is good." I tell him there was not a good Spanish-English Bible and we decide to drive to the other end of the mall to the Books-A-Million and check there. We make our way to the Bibles and not two minutes after we start looking a woman approaches us and asks us where the Christian Literature is, we point it out to her and she laughs and says she hopes BAM will have her book because she has been looking for the Lifeway store all day. Phillip and I erupt into laughter and tell her about our day's adventures in searching for the same store. We start talking and the conversation goes deep, straight to the Lord and fast. She tells us she just got back from the airport because she wanted to see her mom, she laughed loudly and awkwardly and said, "I'm a 50 year old woman but I just needed to see my mommy." She explains how she was just put on a thirty day heart monitor, how she left her husband after 24 years of an unhealthy marriage, and how talking to us was such an example of the Lords providence to her. I tell her about how crazily and providentially my internship with MTW came about and Pip explained how crazily and providential it was that he was even at Leadership Project. She starts crying and tell us she doesn't know why she is telling us this but that she was date raped when she was 22 and because of that married that man and stayed with him for 24 years. We continue to talk about the Lord's providence and she tells us that she needs to leave but takes out her wallet, I start instantly refusing and she stops me, hug me and hand Phillip 17 dollars says, "Listen honey, I need to do this for some reason. I guess it is because I am a mom." We thank her and go our separate ways and with the money in Pip's hand we rushed back to the car excited that the Lord just provided us with a way to buy the homeless people dinner. We rush back to wal-mart and can't find them anywhere. Disappointed we just start driving in silence, after we pray for the Lord to put them back in our path we turn the corner and see them in an abandoned parking lot. We cut across three lanes of traffic and excitedly jump out of the truck. They see us and the man says, "It's yall!" We get out of the car, I'm not going to lie I was a little nervous. The man was most likely in his fourties, ha was a short man, skinny, with wispy long strands of blond hair escaping from under his dirty black and purple cap. He was wearing ripped beaten jeans and a shirt missing a sleeve and covered in grease and sweat. He introduced us to his girl explaining that they are together but can't be married. He proudly showed me the ring on his left hand, a silver plastic thing and with beaming toothless grin said, "She gave this to me, we are going to make it real one day." They looked at each other and I was jealous of how completely together they were, totally unhindered to anything clinging only to each other. To him, she was a princess. To her, he was a knight. The woman was missing a front tooth along with others and laughed and played with her mustache as her husband explained what how awful the spiders are in Myrtle Beach pointing out several huge festering boils on his leg. She laughed and recalled him gashing one open. I found myself disgusted at myself for wanting to shudder at the though, that disgust turned into pity. We tried to give them food but they couldn't take more than one wal-mart bag full because of where they lived. "The raccoon's found our home," the man said, "if we take more than we need they eat it up when our backs are turned." More than they need?! They had nothing! Daily they had no idea where their next meal would come from! No one would hire either one of them, "because the hispanics and young one like you fellas work for cheaper and do better." We got to talking about church trying to make the leap into the Gospel and I asked the woman about her shirt, it was a picture of Christ upon the cross and she lauged and said, "Son I love this shirt, Uncle, my friend I call him Uncle, gave it to me off his very back one day. It means so much to me." We continued to talk and push the gospel until the man told us he'd heard this before and that he would pray with us but they needed to leave. We thanked him and went to the Lord. Two college students, one from Alabama and one from the Carolina's joining hands with two homeless image bearers in an abandoned parking lot on the side of the highway. Such is the kingdom of God, all praise and glory be to the King. As we finished praying the man said, "I, I want to say something too," we excitedly and hurriedly thanked him. "Lord," he said, "I thank you for blessing these boys with a fine job, with good work. Be with and bless their fellow employees. Thank you for them and their love, bless them as they are trying to bless us, and, I thank you. End." We looked up, trying to hide the hot tears threatening to spill at any word and I meet eyes with the woman, I felt convicted and I offered her my shirt. She looked hurt and hugged her shirt to her self and fervently said, "No! NO! I will not trade shirts with you!." I then took off my shirt and gave it to her, Phillip did the same and gave his to the man. Such joy sprung into her face I knew it was something God wanted us to do. Undoubtedly. "Listen son," the man said, "we don't ever tell people this but our home, it is right over there. Maybe we will see yall again..." his voice faded as he looked where he pointed. A huge rusted abandoned storage house, as big as a Wal-Mart but completely overridden with weeds and rust. "In the back corner is our home," said the woman proudly, strongly. And with that, they turned and were gone. Phillip and I got in the car and fell at the feet of the Lord utterly broken and humbled by his love, providence, and power. Thank you Father for this day.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Transcription's Power


Boiling fury, unattainable power, white eruptions,
Pushing then it pulls, striking then it steals.
The silence of the oceans anger, power with no corruption,
A strength and passion causing all within to kneel.

I stand at the crash point at night and feel its aching,
Whispers the sand silently speak, shifting it's patterns on my feet.
The silence on the surface tiptoes across the breaking,
God's metaphor for power, silence and where they meet.

I leave the water, my feet again meeting harsh road,
The warmth of the day almost gone.
the last heat remains yet its release is slowed,
the moons heart is heard and will be felt again at dawn.

The power of the sun found in the power of the moon,
the power of the waves, oh Lord, speak enough to me.
How one thing's power seems gone but returns so soon,
you transpose yourself, and through the ocean I see.



Updates from L.P. 3


So its been a while since the last update. The last yall heard from me I was fasting for Peru and the missionaries there. Since then its been another full few weeks of McDonalds, lessons, and good memories.
All the talks are continually pushing me towards life as a missionary and I am beyond excited. This past thursday a man named Gabe came and talked to us about his life as a missionary. It was so good and hit me so hard, so many different things he said I felt like he said directly to me where I am right now. Example number one, he was talking about how English is becoming the number one pass into different countries. Relevance? English became my major last semester. He spent a lot of time saying discernment is one of the most important things for those in the mission field, discernment is one of my spiritual gifts. All the pieces are falling in place and now it is going to be completely up to the Lord to open doors for me to get where I am supposed to be. No updates about the MTW internship, I assume they are still sending my application to the different missionaries in Latin America. It's now completely in his hands which is so reassuring. On a whole different note, last night was "man night" here at L.P. It was great, we grilled steaks, fooled around in the pool, then went to myrtle beach high school and played capture the glow stick, so much fun.
As we only have three weeks left I find myself realizing just how easy it is here at L.P. It is so not the real world and going back to Huntsville then back to Auburn is going to be such a blessing. Will it be hard? Yes. Am I ready? Yes. I will miss Project and all my new friends so much but I am excited about the new opportunities I will have this upcoming year to spread the true Gospel on Auburn's campus and into the lives of the people in my life. Romans 14:11

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Life in the sand

As time is passing here at L.P (week four out of nine is over) I am learning a lot. I am coming to realize just how good we really have it. Working at McDonalds is a wonderfully humbling experience. It's a job that not many people would ever want to have, yet at the same time the only job many people do and ever will have. Also, the fact that almost nobody hear even knows what Auburn is humbles me greatly, strongly reinforcing my realization after first semester that it's not about being the perfect Auburn man; pursing the top SGA cabinet positions, the perfect fraternity or sorority, making the perfect grades, it's about being a man who is running with everything in his being after God, it's about straining to have more of him and less of myself.
One thing that goes hand in hand with this realization is my realization of who I feel like God has created me to be, living in him fully. Romans 11:29 says, "For the gifts and calling of God are irrevocable." To me, this means laying down my gifts of leadership, acceptance of new situations, people skills, service, laying them all down at his feet because I would not even have them without him so desiring me to. So, I've been asking, how? I know the answer. Missions. When I am in the mission field is when I feel the most complete. I am living at all times fully for Christ. I am starting to feel more and more that I am called to live my life as a missionary. I contacted MTW (missions to the word PCA organization) four days ago and have an interview today for an internship in Peru this next summer. It is all happening so quickly and smoothly it has to be providential. Today, I am fasting because it is a day of pagan festivals and worship in Peru. The MTW missionaries annually face spiritual attacks this day and while I am not in Peru with them, my heart is. So, as I go a mere 24 hours without food I can't help but think of Gideon, Rildo, Vlady, Erwin, Michael, Aldo, and all the other boys in Peru who went multiple days with nothing but glue to sniff for their "food" and it absolutely breaks my heart and makes me all the more motivated to return to Peru. I am hoping to be able to do so soon. So as the day go goes on, let my hunger be a constant reminder of the struggles of those in Peru today.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Updates from L.P. 2



Week two of working under the golden arches has officially ended. Today was a great day at work, one lady I work with named Kaitaria Rodreguez asked for a Bible this week and Phillip and myself purchased one for her and got to give it to her today. It was awesome. Today was exactly what I feel evangelism should be. I got to give her the Bible because we already have a good relationship from working 8 hours a day with her. When I gave her the bible she told me she had lost hers and really needed a new one because she was worried about her kids going to hell, (they are 3 and 5 and speak only Spanish right now) and that opened up a window and I got to share my testimony with her. We continued talking and God was definitely present, it was great. All glory be to God! That is how I believe evangelism should be handled. To be corny and quote wicked, "People come into our lives for a reason."
Today we are going and doing beach evangelism which I still don't completely know how I feel about it. Walking up to strangers and instantly striking up spiritual conversations, to me, just seems like it could be potential "Bible Beating." But, if God is present then of course it works! We are merely his mouthpiece but why can we not be his mouth piece to people in our lives now? Maybe some are called to this type of evangelism more than others? I think we are all called to different types of evangelism. We HAVE to plant the seed but nothing more. Praise be to God! Tonight is group date night two! We are pool hoping and serving a surprise dinner! Finally, after all of this we are SLEEPING! More updates to come!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Updates from L.P.


So, today is the first day since I have left that I have got to really have me time. Leadership Project is quite the experience. As I left Huntsville for my big adventure into South Carolina I had no idea what to expect.
After a pit stop in Greenville to stay the night and see the beautiful town there we left to head onwards to our final destination, Myrtle Beach. As we pulled in everyone was dressed up in tye-dye and screaming and jumping and blaring Christian rap music. My friends who really know me know I very rarely feel extremely intimidated or overwhelmed. Never have I ever felt so out of my element. At first, being the new guy from Alabama was hard. It felt like every single person here had at least three other best friends here with them that they were always with, luckily I had Suzanne and Laura but branching out was a necessity seeing as I can't spend all my time with them.
Thankfully the people here are welcoming and I've made some great friends already. My room is me and four other guys (Josh Austin, Vaughn Volious, Jason Brown, and Chris Yoos) and everyone in my room is awesome in different ways. As the first week went by the awkwardness died out and as more time went along I ended up with a mohawk.
But, all that aside I've learned some good lessons from being the new guy. Inclusion is Important. Making people feel like you really value them and actually taking the time to get to know them and to really actually value them is important. Everyone wants to be loved. A smile can do wonders, it really is a gift to whomever you smile at. That lesson proves itself true daily at work. I'm front line cashier at McDonalds while on Leadership Project and let me tell you, it is for sure harder than most assume.
And every night after work we have some sort of meeting (evangelism training, bible study training, prayer training, d-group, project meal, project social) so lots of being taught while here. It is helping me really form my opinions on a lot of things. All in all I am definitely glad I am here, I think everyone needs an experience like this at some point in their life. More updates to come!

Nerves



Tension crunches across my skin as the moment becomes truth,

every corner a hostile new sharp prick of apprehension.

Drawing closer the brittle tension smolders and melts into a liquid fear.

My body is fluid, lucid to the untrained eye, I leave no proof,

bubbles drift up and pop, twitches and nervous laughter for the oncoming collision.

Calming the surface again, with smiles and cool phrases, I feel it draw near.

Eruptions as the boiling point itself melts, the moment is now,

but, as the unknown becomes known the water dissipates.

Why the fear? Why the surprise? Why the rigidity every time?

To the unknown, to change we all unwillingly bow,

No training or smiles can mask the fear in which we participate.

Yet, that feeling of total discontrol is human emotion in its prime.

What you cling to in these moments reveals you as you,

your faith, your valued chosen, how you believe the world will turn,

the unknown moments are the testing pots in which we are truly identified.

Monday, April 26, 2010

A Day to Remember

This post is a little change from the normal verses I write but I want to remember today forever so, I'm writing it down. Brett and I were in my room when we went to www.ahugfromtaylorswift.com to check on challenge three. We saw the karaoke challenge started in like an hour and decided to go string up our hammocks in front of Samford and hang and watch the Auburn University Hotel Ballroom incase T-Swift really came.
We noticed a crowd gathering and Payton told us it was really happening so we went over and shockingly enough it was true, she was in Auburn. We rushed into the parking lot only to be told we would be arrested if we did not stop and move over to the sidewalk. We then joined the crowd on the sidewalk and decided to start a mob into the parking lot. It worked. Us and a few other random girls started the mob and thankfully everyone joined! We rushed the parking lot and the cops and surrounded her car and the door she would be coming out.
You could cut the anticipation in the crowd with a knife. It was incredible. The doors open and her mother came out followed by tons of cameras and then the moment everyone was waiting for finally arrived. Taylor Swift was less than 20 feet away and she smiled and waved as she got in her car.
The crowd, unknowingly pushed to close to her car and the cops started pushing us away. At first I was angry until the pushing somehow ended with me in the very front of the crowd. I was right in front of her car! Then, the moment I will NEVER forget, she rolled down the window and POINTED AT ME! Best moment of all of Freshman year. We then ran to Spencer's car and dialed up our local connection lady, Mrs. Landrum and she directed us to the airport where T-Swift's jet was. We got there in time to meet her Dad and he gave us one of her guitar picks!
Then as the plane rolled closer to us we saw her wave goodbye! All in all, it was a beyond incredible day. I respect her so much more, no other "star" would be so kind to their fans to do this much for them. War Damn Taylor Swift!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Mountain Song































The first few steps into the shade and out of the sun,
sensation of escape from one reality into a more true, somehow more noble throne,
away from the traffic of the so called real world, let it all come undone.

My ears are kissed by song of summer cicadas and crickets happy jigs,
the noise of ripples on the pond and the arresting feeling of the unknown,
the perfect combination of adventure and control, the deeper the depth, here, my soul can dig.

The swirling leaves and blossoming buds hum a symphony,
these noises combined create a song older than time stronger than bone,
without careful silence and respectable awe all of this would be unknown to me.



Saturday, March 20, 2010

Oceanic Greed



The aged wood of the boardwalk echos hollowly, but has a damp undertone from the left behind wet footprints of the day.
We thud forward in silence, commenting trivially on the nights happenings when my attention is slowly stolen.
Silently, the night wind picks up the lost sand on the boards and sprinkles it across my feet, desperate to take my attention.
Uncaught by anyone but me, a waver in her voice in the prime of her retelling of her day,
Did she notice my distraction?
In a final attempt at shallow conversation we turn to talking about the weather.
But, the wind is greedy.
It whips the sea oats until they shiver and sigh, an eerie sound.
Silence.
Our final few steps on the board walk crunch. Crunch until. . .
Finally, our eager toes lick the sand, cooled by the wind and stars.
Naturally, unknowingly our toes dig and burrow in joy,
reminiscing to the innocent barefooted days in the sand-box.
The wind, eager again for my attention, breathes down my spine.
We quicken our pace.
As we drawn nearer to the ocean, the mist scares the cowardly wind away.
Sprinklings of salt, water, and sand speckle upon our sun kissed skin.
Laughter.
We lay down in the sand, each lost in our own worlds and look to the deep heavens above.
Reflections of depth and light, moon to sun, space to sea.
The peace found only in the bare nakedness of a bed of sand and friends.

Open.

Sheltered.

Free.