"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt

Monday, January 30, 2012

Response to "Dreams" by Jeremy Hare

Jeremy, I want to begin by saying thank you for a fun and light story to read. I enjoyed not having to work to hard at deciphering the deep meanings of it; the story was straightforward and fun to read.

I believe the story focuses on Sora. Sora is an interesting character from our first encounter with him as the boy that was asleep on the ground. I think his entire purpose is achieving a goal and making good on his promise to himself to not have to depend on anyone other than himself. The conflict is obvious; he hasn’t achieved this goal yet. Sora’s motive puzzles Hikari, which shows depth into both of their characters. There is not much change in Sora, we are left with a cliffhanger but hopefully he will defeat the captain but we don’t know. I think the point you are trying to get across is something alone the lines of, “stay true to your self, and fight for the opportunity to never have to depend on anyone but yourself, it may puzzle people but it keeps you happy and sane?” Something like that is the message I received when reading.

I loved the genre. You stayed true to what you told us you liked on the first day of class and transported me into a fun world with characters with exotic names battling for truth and justice and their own beliefs. We need more people in the real world like Sora.

I would like more setting. Tell me the smells and feels of the gym, describe the characters to me so I can see them better, I want more insight into Hikari as well. Having her as the narrator is interesting because she does not seem to serve a very important purpose in Sora’s life. Maybe she is not necessary? Maybe Sora should narrate? I feel as if the captain Sora is battling is almost a character out of Dragon Ball Z or something. He does not seem real to me and I would really like for him to. Maybe give him a unique characterization no one else has? I also need more imagery overall. I loved your opening but the closing ends without any changes in Sora, I think he needs to win or lose and give up (preferably win in my opinion).

Thanks again for a fun read! See you in class tomorrow.

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