"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt

Friday, January 20, 2012

Mountain Blood

"Assignment: Write a short story. No genre fiction."


I’ve decided that I will always live in the mountains. I finish clearing the tables in Ballroom C, now that the last guest is gone, and turn off the lights. I take off my name tag and check my pocket; its still there so I head out the back door of the kitchen and walk into the brisk, clear mountain air. For the first few months I hated the walk back to my cabin when my shift ended; it’s always pitch black on the mountain by this hour and the stars and moon seem to add more chill than warmth to the air. Now, the ten-minute walk back home is what I look forward to every day. The minutes of solitude amongst the trees and stars have become something sacred.

I crunch my way down the trail and my mind again grinds out the details of the one story I’ll never be able to erase: Julia, being carried out by the police, blood violently spilling from a gash across her forehead. She was screaming and the mascara mixed with the blood had dyed her blonde hair brown. She was beautiful as ever in that royal blue cocktail dress, but the screams that accompanied the memory of her beauty were now inseparable. We didn’t get on the bus for her senior Zeta Phi formal because she was the last intended victim. Well, the second to last. Somehow she had managed to fight him off. Her perfect past of white debutante balls and neon sorority socials was now stained by yellow police tape and the cold, red blood of four complete strangers. The families of the others hated her, but they hate me more.

No. No, no, no. NO. Not Julia, not him, not Zeta Phi,” I remind myself as I step off the trail. Its silent as I turn into the clearing by the cabins clearly marked “STAFF.” I make my way down to the cabin painted with a big white “2” and pause by the glowing embers of the dying fire. I decide better safe than burnt alive and unzip my fly to help the embers accomplish the end of their orange lives.

“Dude, really? What would you do if the boss lady walked around the corner?” I turned my neck as the embers continued to hiss and laughed as my roommate from the mountain, Beau, shook his head and unlocked the door to our cabin.

“I’ll be inside in a few,” I said, “I jacked us some left-over whiskey from the 6 o’clock wedding.” Beau made a dramatic fist pump and closed the door behind him.

It’s Friday night. Don’t give another night over to it. Have some fun Damnit.” I steeled myself mentally, took one last look at the stars, made sure the fire was sufficiently drowned and headed inside. I patted my pocket before I stepped in, it was still there.

“Bro, how much whiskey you got? Wanna invite the girls from cabin 4 to throw down? They’re only workin’ one more week before they’re gone and fresh meat comes in.” Beau came out of our bedroom in his boxers, mouth foaming with toothpaste and his green toothbrush. I’m not a modest person and neither is Beau so walking around in our boxers is normal life. It feels like I’m in college again. “College is where I met Julia…” I start to drift, my fingers reaching again into my pocket, but Beau’s twangy voice draws me back, “Open a window man I gotta cool off after that run.” He plops down on the one couch of our kitchen/living/dining/party room, cussing under his breath as he pulls out an old beer bottle that was wedged between the cushions.

I open the small kitchen window then slump down on the couch beside him, pulling out the handle of Jack Daniels Honey from my backpack on the floor,

“Let me get four shots deep and I’ll personally extend them an invitation myself.” Beau’s eyes widen as I take a long pull of the Whiskey and slam it down with a satisfied smirk, “Maybe I really am ready.”

“I’ve never seen you this, erm… excited man,” Beau reached across the table and grabbed the bottle, “you sure you’re ok?” He took an equally long swig.

“I’m tired of waiting to have fun man,” I take another long pull, “I can’t let that night stop me for one more second. Tonight is the night Chad Grune is reborn.” I take a twenty-second pull and not ten minutes later we’ve got the whiskey below the label.

“Shit bro, I’ve been waiting for this side of you to show up. Let me put on some clothes and let’s go invite the lucky college ladies of cabin 4 to join in.” Beau stumbled to the bedroom doorway and grabbed the first pair of jeans he saw.

“Damn man slow down. You don’t wanna black out do you?” Beau said as he zipped up his jeans. He sniffed the white shirt in his hand, deemed it to be clean, and slipped into it.

“Here get out of uniform and lets go,” he threw me another pair or jeans and sniffed shirt from the pile on the ground. We decided after a week that sharing all our clothes would be the easiest. I stepped out of my shoes and tripped as I pulled my left leg out of my black suit pants. Steadying myself on the couch I peel my right leg out of the pants and then I hear it hit the floor. A small clank but because of it’s shape, the noise spirals until it’s momentum is stilled. Shit.

“Dude…is that the—“ Beau started but before he could name it I hurriedly picked it up and stuffed it into the waistband of my briefs.

“Don’t worry about it.” I say and unbutton my work shirt. It’s cold now, the window’s been open to long and I can feel the mountain air creeping into my skin. I grab the pair of jeans beside me and step into them, left leg is a success but as I lift my right leg I feel the cold metal circle slipping out of my waistband. The room is spinning now. It’s almost slow motion as it falls out of my protection and again hits the cold floor, this time rolling instead of lying where it fell. Trapped in the net of my jeans and whiskey I fall to the floor as I lunge to grab it, my chin smacks the granite tabletop hard and I faintly hear Beau screaming at me as I lay down. Down, down, down, around, and spinning. It’s so dark but I’m warmer here so I don’t fight it.

You’re Mr. Grune?”

“Yes sir, why—“

“I’m going to need you to come with me. Whatever you do son, do NOT look into that house. Do you hear me?”

“Officer, I’m confused. I’m just here to pick up my girlfriend Julia, she lives here. Where is she? Why are there so many cops lights? Is she ok? Is everything—“ I stopped talking as I heard her voice. I turned from the officer and back towards her house. The officer barked and grabbed my shoulders, pulling my face back away from her house. But not before I saw her. She looked absolutely beautiful. A royal blue dress, the red and blue lights that hit it extenuated her perfectly sculpted body and her angelic face. What my brain refused to believe was the red that poured from her forehead. Blood. Blood. Everywhere. Her hair was stained. Her dress was wet. Her eyes were wet. Tears?

“Son, I’m going to have to ask you to get into the car. Now.” I was shoved into a cop car and carted downtown. I am jello. I am not real.

A white room with a mirror, table, and two chairs.

Alone.

What.

The.

Hell.

They offered me bagels. They were stale. The coffee tasted like dirt. They are dirt. I bite nervous craters into my cheeks until the iron taste of blood fills my mouth. Blood. She was covered. Julia…

“He is what is known as a serial-murderer. She was his intended victim, you should be thankful she’s alive.” I sat in silence as the badges and moustaches told me how lucky she was to be living and how lucky I was compared to the other boyfriends. They told me the serial-murder’s niche was couples. He couldn’t stand happiness so he stole it from others. He had killed two other college girls and both their boyfriends. If she had been killed I would’ve been next. Do I understand how lucky I am? I say no. They tell me they are going to hold me for my own protection because he may have an accomplice. Its 4 a.m.

I’m wide-awake.

Its 7 a.m.

The badge with the deep voice comes in and sits beside me, offering me more dirt and staleness. I say no. He begins,

“She may not recover. He did not murder her but he did damage her. She was knocked out with a blunt weapon, the blow dented her skull and she’s in a coma. Do you understand?”

I nod. Jello again. Not human. Not real.

Three weeks pass and she gets worse. None of my friends look at me the same. My family has decided to live in town close to me until I graduate in May. Her parents cry. My parents cry. Then I decide to do it anyways.

I go to the hospital in a suit, my dad drives. Mom is sniffling in the front seat beside him and their hands are intertwined. We walk into her room and I get on one knee. She doesn’t answer but I slip the ring on her finger anyways. “Forever,” I whisper.

“CHAD WAKE UP.” Beau’s voice brought me back to reality. I was sprawled on the floor, pants around my feet, head throbbing but not bleeding. Then I remembered, “Where is it. Where is the ring?” Beau’s eyes turned to the one air vent on the floor of out cabin. They told us the first day that anything that goes down it goes into the heart of the mountain. Absolutely no way to get it back.

“Chad, I’m sorry. You fell so hard and I went to help you before I realized what you were lunging after. I thought you were just drunk… I’m sorry brother, its gone.” His eyes were filled with concern and I was reminded of the moustache’s pity, my mother’s tears, and Julia’s father’s silence.

“So, um, I guess you don’t feel to much like partyin’ any more?” Beau said. The concern in his voice couldn’t mask the hope of still having fun.

“You go on man. I just need to be alone.” I groaned as I stood up, pulled my pants on, and walked to the door still not wearing a shirt.

“Where are you going bro? Chad?”

I didn’t respond and leave the door open as I again entered the night. I stood at the fire pit, now stagnant with ash and urine, and looked into the depths above. My eyes stung. I blame the smell. My fingers fumble blindly in the emptiness that is now my pocket. I hear sticks crunching and the chattering of teeth coming in my direction.

“Chad, I’m not gunna get drunk tonight without you.” I turn and Beau is behind me, Jack in hand. “Pull,” he says, “then we talk. You gotta move on bro. Aint that the whole reason you’re livin up here in the first place? Here, put a shirt on or you’ll catch a cold.” I grab the shirt he throws at me and take a pull of Jack to appease both Beau and my throbbing head. I’m thankful for him, he’s a better friend than I give him credit for being, so I begin,

“It was the last part of her I had Beau. I know it was just a ring, but its all I had left. It meant our future. That night, at the formal, we would’ve danced to Ella Fitzgerald and at the last note I was going to dip her down low, kiss her, then get on one knee.” My voice began to quiver, “I was sweating when I went to pick her up, I was so excited and nervous. The cops thought it was because I felt guilty.” My voice cracked but I continued, “Guilty? Me? How could they ever imagine for one second I could hurt her? My beautiful Julia. She’s dead Beau. Damnit…” Tears were flowing freely now, “She. Is. Dead. She’s gone and I’ve accepted that but I just can’t get over the core question. What makes a man so screwed up that he could ever justify actions like that? Is it a part of all of us? Could that have been me?” I slow to take another pull of Jack and restructure my breathing before I begin again, this time in a whisper, “I’ve asked myself these questions every day for two years, they haunt me. Not because my answer is yes, but because it’s no. I can’t think of any situation that could make me so broken that I turn to murdering. He didn’t just kill people he murdered joy!”

We sat in silence, the stars singing, my heart skipping, the whiskey slithering.

“It’s gone man,” Beau’s voice again interrupts, “I can’t get your ring outta that pipe in the mountain. I can’t tell you why you lived and she died, but I know you are alive. Look at me Chad,” I look up and finally see eyes that care without pity, “this world’s a crazy place. That’s just it. It don’t get any easier or harder. You can spend the rest of your life askin yourself why he did it and if you’re evil but that’s not much of a life. He was a broken lunatic and so am I. So are you. So was Julia.” His voice faded off after saying her name and I looked again into his eyes. No pity still, just hope.

We finished the bottle of Jack in silence and stumbled back to the cabin together after a few hours of chatter and thought. I’m thankful for Beau and I’m sure he knows it. I’ve seen the depths of depravity but I’ve also seen into the secret veil of love. It doesn’t make sense but I know I’ve got to keep on going in this world and do my best to make it a better place because that’s what Julia would want. There is beauty even amidst the brokenness and after tonight I’ve decided to stop questioning the dark and start pursuing the light.

“Beau?”

“Yea?”

“Thank you.”

I hear him shuffle around in his bed and breathe a sigh of contentment. The stars singing stopped a while ago and as I turn my covers into a cocoon I see the whispers of morning paint the sky. Light will always triumph darkness.

No comments:

Post a Comment