Response to Ethan Hightower's "Spanish Moss"

Ethan Hightower’s story Spanish Moss traces the story of Blake, Tommy, and Trig who is the narrator. They are 8th graders who are want to smoke weed because they think that’s what the mature high schoolers who are cool do. They sneak down to the creek and smoke. Two of them got really high but one didn’t feel anything. They see what they think is a briefcase full of money in the creek and Trig goes to look at it and discovers a dead baby in a trash bag instead of a suitcase full of money. The incident terrified the boys and was their first encounter with death. One of them moved away and the other two never talked. It ends very sadly and I think the change in the characters was their maturing. Not because of smoking weed, but because of encountering death for the first time firsthand.
I think you have a story that works absolutely beautifully and fully serves the purpose of micro-fiction. I love your elaboration of details on the moss and the creek were wonderful, but I wanted to see this attention to detail in your descriptions of the process of smoking, of the fear of the children, and more detail about running away and the process of maturing as they ran away from death and left their childhood behind. I want more description of leaving their childhood behind on that frantic, tearstained run in the woods. I don’t think I want any more characters added, but elaboration on the three boys is necessary. We know one is excessive and elaborates on everything and one is heading down the trail to being a drug dealer and the other boy (the narrator) is a lazy guy who does whatever his friends want him to do. I feel like they are a little stereotypical and would like to see them more developed. I love your story and can’t wait to see where it goes!