Response to Jessica Mullino's story, "Untitled"

Jessica Mullino’s story traces the all to familiar process of writing a paper with the stigma of writers block. It follows the process of Andy as she puts it off hour by hour blaming different excuses form A.D.D. to annoying roommates talking to loud to Denzel Washington.

I enjoyed the story because it was something completely relatable, Jessica did a great job knowing her target audience. She knew that the people that would be reading this work are the people in her Fiction I class and therefore the majority of the people can instantly identify with the whole “writer’s block” scenario. My favorite part was when she started taking “baby steps” and thought about taking her story in the direction of a character with a potential Spanish accent in Spain. It made me laugh because that simple thought process is exactly how stories are born and I love how you captured that.

My concerns lie in the fact that it could be seen as a little cliché and a story that I feel that I have read before. I kept waiting for something crazy to happen and it just never did, she ended up writing the story, which ironically enough turned out to be a story about a story. I think adding a completely unseen element would benefit your story, I want something courageous and bold and maybe seemingly out of place to happen here. The second I knew it was about writer’s block I knew either she would get around it or she wouldn’t, but that’s not what I wanted. I wanted a third option. I have absolutely nothing to offer as to what the surprise twist in your story could be but I would like there to be one. I think knowing more about Andy would help too, tell us why she has the mental block. Has it occurred before? Could she have some strange tradition that she has to do to get out of it.

All in all I think you have a great premise for a great story that I definitely do want to read the final copy of, I look forward to seeing the changes you will make and watching the trouble that Andy and all of us have grow.

Response to Jhumpa Lahiri’s “Once in a Lifetime”

Jhumpa Lahiri’s “Once in a Lifetime” was a very different story. At time I loved the narrative perspective and at times it absolutely frustrated me. The story was so impregnated with culture and that was it’s strongest point. It just seemed so mundane to me. I guess in a way it did a great job of accomplishing a realistic view of, well, reality but I just can’t decide if I liked that or not. I experience reality every day, I read to escape reality not be immersed into it. I fully believed the story and loved the awkwardness of the training bra moment. The stark contrast between the two immigrant families was beautiful. I couldn’t help but wonder if the fact that the extravagant, indulgent mother dying was Lahiri’s way of telling everyone that comes to America to stick to the old lifestyle because the American Dream and American way leads to death. That’s definitely the message I got out of the story. I wanted to see more change between the protagonist and her crush, especially in or after the graveyard scene. After such a traumatic experience, how could the two characters not change? That was the only part that seemed a little far fetched to me, their conversation in the cemetery was starling and I didn’t see it coming, but once it happened there was no real change between the two! They just continued to live in an awkward imbalance and both were contented with that life. I wanted less reality, more drama, and more change. But I am glad I read it, it made me realize why I read: to escape.

Response to "Cats" by Rhamah

Rhamah’s story Cats does a wonderful job of straying as far from genre-fiction as a story can. The story describes a normal day at the Animal-Clinic in the cat room. The protagonist is neither defined as a boy or girl but the protagonist works in the “Kitty City” with one other worker that we know of named the “Cat Lady.” You get the feeling the name is meant to be condescending and that the protagonist does not enjoy Cat-Lady’s company nor the job at which they work. We see this from the descriptions the protagonist focuses on; the stench of the litter box and the “cicada” like balls of fur that always carpet the floor. A family comes in wanting a cat but the protagonist knows they don’t want the hassle, just the image of having a cat. After they leave, a boy comes in to buy what we assume is his old cat, which swats at him leading him to decide that he wants a new kitten. I believe this is the pinnacle of the story and teaches a lesson of some sort, but I can’t figure out what the lesson is and it frustrates me. I’m not sure if it is “let go of the past and move on to the future?” If that’s the case then what does the fact that the boy, by not choosing his cat from the past, basically condemns it to a death sentence mean? I want to know what the purpose of the story is, it seemed a bit unclear to me. I also want more character definition of the narrative voice. I care nothing about the character as a person because all I know about him/her is that s/he is sarcastic, can read most people (even if it can seem a bit condescending) and hates his/her job. I want to know more. Why do they have that job? What is their personal opinion on the cat as a creature? All in all I think you have created an awesome setting and story with a lot of potential, I can’t wait to see what you will turn it into!