Response to Kody Blackwell's, "Whatever Gods May Be"

Kody Blackwell’s story, “Whatever Gods May Be” is the story of a small town southern man, named Thomas Abrams, losing his faith. The story begins with vivid imagery of Abrams’ first Sunday as Preacher at his local church. We learn he used to coach Football at the school there and served as a Deacon in the church until he had to step up and serve as the Head Pastor. Things seem to be going swell for him and his wife and then we learn she is pregnant! Time passes and it seems like after his visit to the retirement home is when his change begins. He begins to shift from a devout believer who reads his Bible daily and lives by what it says to a doubting Thomas. Quick aside, I think changing the title to Doubting Thomas would be marvelous. I digress. The story ends with Thomas and his very pregnant wife leaving the church after he walked up to the pulpit and proclaimed he just can’t teach something he doesn’t believe in himself. Because of fear of having no job and a kid on the way he lets Bert pay for them for a while. His wife gives birth to a boy that they name Thomas.

I thought it was a well-developed story with a great setting. I thought your characters were well-portrayed versions of real people here in the South and that made your story and characters easily relatable. What I just couldn’t pinpoint was exactly what made him lose his faith. I understand he began to doubt it but I didn’t quite understand why. Especially when all in his life seems to be going so well! Is it not usually a dramatic life event that causes “religious” folk to waver and at times turn their back on their gods? I want to know how he justified quitting and see more of an internal struggle about it. A little more conflict from those in the community around him after he quits would be nice to. Just a small suggestion: earlier I said change the title to Doubting Thomas but I take that back. Maybe just “Doubt.” I think giving the main character a different Biblical name such as Abraham or maybe Cain if ya want to get real metaphorical and then naming the child Thomas would produce a more powerful effect. I enjoyed reading your writing and again, I hope to read the final product.

Response to Jessica Mullino's story, "Untitled"

Jessica Mullino’s story traces the all to familiar process of writing a paper with the stigma of writers block. It follows the process of Andy as she puts it off hour by hour blaming different excuses form A.D.D. to annoying roommates talking to loud to Denzel Washington.

I enjoyed the story because it was something completely relatable, Jessica did a great job knowing her target audience. She knew that the people that would be reading this work are the people in her Fiction I class and therefore the majority of the people can instantly identify with the whole “writer’s block” scenario. My favorite part was when she started taking “baby steps” and thought about taking her story in the direction of a character with a potential Spanish accent in Spain. It made me laugh because that simple thought process is exactly how stories are born and I love how you captured that.

My concerns lie in the fact that it could be seen as a little cliché and a story that I feel that I have read before. I kept waiting for something crazy to happen and it just never did, she ended up writing the story, which ironically enough turned out to be a story about a story. I think adding a completely unseen element would benefit your story, I want something courageous and bold and maybe seemingly out of place to happen here. The second I knew it was about writer’s block I knew either she would get around it or she wouldn’t, but that’s not what I wanted. I wanted a third option. I have absolutely nothing to offer as to what the surprise twist in your story could be but I would like there to be one. I think knowing more about Andy would help too, tell us why she has the mental block. Has it occurred before? Could she have some strange tradition that she has to do to get out of it.

All in all I think you have a great premise for a great story that I definitely do want to read the final copy of, I look forward to seeing the changes you will make and watching the trouble that Andy and all of us have grow.

Response to Jhumpa Lahiri’s “Once in a Lifetime”

Jhumpa Lahiri’s “Once in a Lifetime” was a very different story. At time I loved the narrative perspective and at times it absolutely frustrated me. The story was so impregnated with culture and that was it’s strongest point. It just seemed so mundane to me. I guess in a way it did a great job of accomplishing a realistic view of, well, reality but I just can’t decide if I liked that or not. I experience reality every day, I read to escape reality not be immersed into it. I fully believed the story and loved the awkwardness of the training bra moment. The stark contrast between the two immigrant families was beautiful. I couldn’t help but wonder if the fact that the extravagant, indulgent mother dying was Lahiri’s way of telling everyone that comes to America to stick to the old lifestyle because the American Dream and American way leads to death. That’s definitely the message I got out of the story. I wanted to see more change between the protagonist and her crush, especially in or after the graveyard scene. After such a traumatic experience, how could the two characters not change? That was the only part that seemed a little far fetched to me, their conversation in the cemetery was starling and I didn’t see it coming, but once it happened there was no real change between the two! They just continued to live in an awkward imbalance and both were contented with that life. I wanted less reality, more drama, and more change. But I am glad I read it, it made me realize why I read: to escape.